Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Don't say 'Broke', c'est 'Casse'

Irony with a witty hint of copyright infringement.
Chutzpah is 9/10 of the Law.
 Friends, there has never been a more opportune time to be short of funds.  It's as if the stars have aligned and spread the lack of wealth to people near and far, unifying us all under a new umbrella of devastating desirability.  How passe are the weekends in San Tropez, expensive cars, and celebrity chefs.  It's much more au currant to have a staycation, a bike ride through the canals of Venice (CA, not IT) and lunch from a Food Truck.  

It's almost laughable to even think about having money in the bank, because who's does that anymore?  Everyone who's anyone is getting rid of theirs; streamlining their assets.  How gauche to just keep money laying around...it's so common, and slightly rude.  Nowadays, it's really quite chic to to live hand to mouth (or as I like to call it, main au bouche.  Everything sounds better in French).  At the risk of being terribly cliche, Broke is the new Black.

I know not everyone shares my sentiments...there will always be Philistines in the Temple of J'adore.  But for those of us who seek to make the best of our situation, I say, do it as only you can.  Style, personality, and finesse transcend all budgets.  Instinct and exquisite wit will be your currency.  No exchanges or refund.  The Nouveau Pauvre have spoken.   

Bread and cheese has been the go to food for the
impoverished for centuries.  Take it uptown with
Artisan fromage and Pain Rustique.
Economizing danse la maison is remarkably easy and so very in.  For starters, entertain at home.  Dig out that One Dish Meal cookbook you never open, along with that Crock Pot you never thought you'd use.  Guests will be delighted at your ingenuity and ironic sense of humor.  Slow-cooked haute cuisine on melamine will be the talk of the farmers market.  And imagine the fun of a grilled cheese dinner party given on the patio with soda from glass bottles and whoopie pies for dessert.  Comfort food is the new Mr. Chow. 

If you're strapped for cash you'll find yourself growing surprisingly svelte as you pass up meals in order to afford putting gas in your car.  Take this opportunity to re-imagine your suddenly well fitting wardrobe.  Develop a 'signature style'.  People won't think you're wearing the same thing over and over out of necessity or ennui, but out of a personal commitment to higher common sense.  You will recruit devotees with this mindset and become the leader you always knew you could be. Mix colors and patterns in ways you never would have before.  Optimism is bold and daring.  You will incite envy and rage in your adversaries. 

Less is more, so live accordingly.  Liberate your home from the superfluous, useless, and tacky.  A cluttered home is a cluttered mind.  How can you live to your full potential if you can't see your closet floor?  As William Morris preached, surround yourself only with the useful and beautiful, and sell the rest on eBay (that part is mine).  You'd be amazed what people in Middle America will buy.

Above all, live you life fully, honestly, and beautifully.  Style and substance are free; you can buy everything else (then take it back the next day).

- Ian    

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