Friday, July 1, 2011

The Perfect Jeans for Guys

Catherine, my blog buddy and mother of my unborn children (it will be the master race I always dreamed of) paid me a wonderful compliment when she mentioned that my wardrobe was stellar.  I think it was her post on wallpaper.  I don't remember how she got there, but when it comes to compliments, I'm not too picky about the origins so long as they keep coming.

On the subject of my wardrobe, I recently did a purge of my closet.  I've lost some weight, so about 70% of my jeans had to go.  Yes, I had enough pairs of jeans to start using percentages rather than quantities.  I deliberated, but was ruthless about what had to be expelled.  I saw my torn denim phase exit, my embellished jeans phase be cast aside (though I still kept the hand painted Gucci's and the Cavalli's with the embroidered Griffins...I'm a man, not a machine.) and while I mourned for old friends now gone, I took solace in the new need to go shopping for new jeans.

I am not one to try things on; I think this coincides with my DNA. I can usually guess what will fit without having to hunt down a dressing room so I can look at myself half naked under bad lighting in a tri-fold mirror.  However, needing a new size, I was going to have to relent and actually take a few pairs of jeans into a dressing room.

On a whim, I avoided the trend jeans I always buy and went for classic Levi's.  It didn't take long for me to find the perfect pair; the pair I feel all men should own.  That pair is the Levi's 501, the father of all jeans.  Not skinny, not baggy, no boot cuts or high rises, just perfect and button fly.  A multitude of washes are available, but you only need one, and it needs to be dark.  It's dressy enough to go out at night, but also passes for casual without looking like you slept in your car.  If you must buy a second color, make it black.  They make a great over-dyed black style, with black buttons and rivets too, very hot.

The Perfect Jean for Guys.
501's in Dimensional Rigid wash.  $64.00.
The perfect dark, inky, go with anything, blue. 

The Perfect Jeans for Guys, II.
501's in Over Dyed Black.  $58.00
Super dark and edgy.

For up keep on jeans (yes guys, there are rules to follow), it's pretty simple.  To keep jeans looking nice and new, don't wash them in hot or warm water, this will fade the color, and you want them to stay dark.  Darker colored jeans look more expensive.  Wash them inside out (with the zipper zipped) on cold with Lingerie soap.  Yes, you read that right.  Man up and go to the land of Bra's and buy a bottle.  I use Forever New from Macy's, it does not smell like a flower garden, in case you're worried.  For black jeans, send them to the dry cleaners.  There is nothing sadder than faded black.  And I shouldn't need to say this, but, no creases in jeans.  Ever.

- Ian

PS, Converse sneakers are the perfect shoes for jeans.  Boots, flip flops, drivers, mocs, and brogues are also nice depending on season and setting.  Never, under any circumstance, wear running shoes with jeans.  This is a cardinal sin; loved ones will shun you, you will be unfriended on Facebook.  Just don't.

A classic Gucci slip on (or something like it) dresses things up a bit.
Available at Saks Fifth Avenue for $550.00.

Lizard embossed leather sneakers from Converse by
John Varvatos are perfect for a casual style. 
Available at Saks Fifth Avenue for $150.00.

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