Death by Television.

I have no words to describe how hideous the monstrosity I am about to discuss is.  OK, that is a lie.  I have words.  Lots of words, but I won't go down that road right now.  I went to the Greystone Showcase House sponsored by Luxe Magazine last December, and it was OK.  Lots of big name designers phoning it in for publicity, some quite horribly.  I'm not going to name names, but if you went, you probably saw something awful.  Don't get me wrong, there were some delightful things, but most rooms were forgettable and some of them should be burned.  Out of an entire mansion filled with every item imaginable, this monster topped my list of things that should never have been created - the flat screen television framed in Venetian mirror.

One of my cardinal sins is a television in the bedroom; it should never happen.  You'll never sleep.  Another of my cardinal sins is mounting a television above a fireplace.  This applies to every room in the house.  No TVs above fireplaces.  Period.  I know this Designer has done a Fornasetti screen saver to give the impression of art, but it's not cutting it.  Commit to a piece of art or even a mirror and take the high road.  Through this installation, I have also discovered a new sin I hadn't thought of, because who in their right mind would ever consider doing it; that sin is surrounding a television in Venetian mirror.  This grotesque invention was part of a scheme for a mans bedroom; sorry, but no man I know, gay, straight, bi, thai...would ever do that to a television.  I don't think you could be gaudier or more gauche than this, but then again, I didn't think something like this would ever happen.  This is the design equivalent of Lindsay Lohan.  This is Bruce Jenner's face in television form.  This is the hottest mess I have seen in a long time.

I'm doing this as a public service announcement, for your own safety.  As a Designer and a friend, I would never do this to you, but there a people out there that will tell you this is a good idea.  Those people need an intervention and possibly some sort of medication.  If you know anyone who has anything like this in their home, break off all communications.  You'll thank me later.

- Ian